Just a blog, just a girl, just my life.

Bang Bang Bangity Bang

2012-01-11T11:24:00.000-07:00

Finally after about two months my bangs are looking not only decent but cut straight. In November I made a mistake of going to a chop shop with DH for a holiday hair clean up. Not that I have anything against that place but the lady that cut my hair was awful. I hope that she was just having a bad day, but that bad day ruined my bangs so bad that it took me two hours to fix my hair later that weekend. And now with another quick trim, I think they are finally straight. Or closer than they've been in two months, so I am happy. it's sad that I'm better with my own hair than someone who did/does it for a living.

pin!

2012-01-11T02:26:00.000-07:00

I think I just fell in love with a new website. It's Pinterest. You'll need an invitation to join, so drop me a comment and I'll be sure to invite you to the dark side. Like I needed a new way to play, but I'm already appreciating the way that it allows you to "gather" your thoughts. Pin-away! :)

#resound11 Prompt 16: Ordinary Extraordinary

2011-12-16T12:24:00.000-07:00

Have you ever heard the expression "God isin the details?" Or, perhaps, "the devil is in thedetails?"

In college, I hadan instructor who would circle the most minuscule omissions in redpen and write that phrase: God is in the details. Accidentally double spaceafter a period when the rest have single spaces? Red pen. God is in thedetails. Barely noticeable typography goof-up? Red pen. God is in the details.

Annoying, right?Right, but insightful. At the time I was annoyed because I had five classes ofnothing but writing and creating and the last thing on my mind was a tiny,forgotten detail. When you think about it though, it is the details that makeup our lives: little, seemingly insignificant details, choices, and momentsthat make up our life, make up our story.

Sometimes the mostordinary, mundane things can turn into extraordinary moments. What was one ofyour most extraordinary ordinary moments this year?

Our story is in thedetails ... How will you resound?

My most extraordinary ordinary moment this year was going to a Weekend to Remember marriage conference with my DH. It was energizing and emotional but extraordinary.

Here is an email that I sent out after that weekend, it defiantly shows God in the details:

Hello! and happy Monday to you. :) Hope your week has had a good start!
I just wanted to drop you a quick note of love and thanksgiving for your thoughts, prayers and encouragement over the weekend! David and I both had a wonderful time; we both felt comfortable, encouraged and we learned a lot to bring home into our marriage. We learned a lot of what we were doing right, and even what we could be doing better on. We both have a new commitment and sense of excitement in our marriage and future together.
Our time together was Spirit blessed for sure! Thank you for your prayers for us both, they were answered and felt by both of us. We can't share our thanks enough that each of you are in our lives, we are soooo entirely blessed to have friends and family like you!
We'd also like to encourage each of you to take the same step, invest in each other. It doesn't matter where your relationship is, good or bad, this time and training will be well worth it. The time together is amazing, and we'd love to share in it with you. Because we believe so strongly in The Weekend to Remember's power to strengthen, we've created a Group Code that you can use to get 50% your registration. We challenge you to take the next step- if we can do it... so can you! :)
Use this link to be directed to our personal Group Page, in order to join our group and take advantage of this special discount!!! http://www.familylife.com/groups/djEberhard

#resound11 Prompt 15: Discovery

2011-12-15T13:18:00.002-07:00

Today's prompt is brought to you by Krissie from Questions for Dessert and @krissieb.

We learn new things every day. Processes change at work. We meet new people. We cook new recipes. We are constantly learning and growing.

But sometimes we learn something that qualifies as a discovery. A piece of new information - a feeling, a song, a place, an event, a book, a random fact - can sometimes change our view on the world and our place in it. Discovery can bring on positive change, but sometimes discovery is hard. Sometimes it causes conflict. But after a discovery, something about you just isn't quite the same.

What discovery did you make in 2011? What kind of impact did it have on how you view the world today?

How will you resound?

A discovery for 2011...that if you have no plan nothing happens. That I want a strong and Godly marriage, that DH wants the same thing. THAT I love my ipad. :)

#resound11 Prompt 14: Home is ...

2011-12-15T11:47:00.000-07:00

When did you feel most at home this year: in your life, in your space, in your career, in your skin? What factors make that situation feel like home? Do certain comforts make your space feel like home? Does being with certain people make you feel complete? Is there an activity in which you excel that makes you feel like you're doing what you were meant to do?

This is your life. Where do you live? Where is home?

How will you resound?

I felt most at home... at my home. I feel like DH (dear husband) and I are finally getting the house to be ours. I've been comfortable at work, but not in my skin. Another year where I have failed in health class. :( I am at home at my desk at work, it's a place where a lot of things get done, so I like being here. The desk in my home office, maybe not so much. It gets cluttered and forgotten easily. I also feel at home on the couch next to DH watching movies. A simple yet, comforting part of the week that I enjoy and look forward to. An activity...cleaning the house, when it's done and I have time and I make the time, I actually enjoy it, although it can be very hard to consistently find the time. I also know that I am supposed to be an encouragement to others, to help them find what they are looking for.

#resound11 Prompt 13: Best Gift

2011-12-13T11:29:00.000-07:00

Today's prompt is brought to you by Krissie from Questions for Dessert and@krissieb.

The holiday season is typically a time we focus on others, sometimes at the expense of ourselves. I can get so caught up in the expectations of the season that I have a hard time remembering to enjoy the peace and wonder of the season. I can forget to take time to care for myself. So lets look back on how we cared for ourselves. Maybe we'll inspire each other to take a few minutes for ourselves today.

What was the best gift you gave yourself this year? Did you buy big, fluffy towels? Did you have a massage on a day when you really needed it? Did you forgive someone and give yourself the freedom from that grudge?

How will you resound?

Best gift I gave myself... a new bathroom. Not that it's done yet, but it's quite the gift (and headache) of remodeling. Other than that, I guess I won't really know. I enjoyed going along on a birthday adventure with my friend JG, to a Russian Spa! Nice!
I haven't recently had to purchase towels as that is what I've been asking for at Christmas for the last couple years. I don't remember my last massage and I am trying to live grudge free. That is a gift! :)

Resound 12

2011-12-12T02:42:00.000-07:00

Take today to talk about 12 things you would like to accomplish in 2012. These 12 things can be 12 resolutions, 12 changes in your life, 12 wines you'd like to drink, 12 cities you'd like to visit, or 12 monthly goals. The decision is yours. Good luck and have fun!

How will you resound?

Wow that's a wild list to make.... I like it but wow, I might need some time to think about it to get it complete.
1 - run a 5k
2 - lose weight to be a healthy stance and size
3 - baby?
4 - get one term ahead with wgu classes
5 - control spending
6 - de-clutter house on schedule
7 - pay off bathroom that we are refinishing now
8 - raise $100 for Light the Night
9 - make date nights with friends
10 - clean out closets
11 - blog weekly on schedule
12 - keep on top of yard work

Any Beginning Starts With the End

2011-09-30T09:12:00.002-06:00

It feels like recently I've had a lot of new beginnings in my life.

I'm officially a college student again. It feels good to be back in school, to have a new start - and a new future. One with a degree, which makes me happy, and the student loans that go with it, which makes me not so happy.

This new beginning can only start with the end of other parts of life.
Beginning to plan out study time ... ends with unplanned days with no schedule.
Beginning to complete classes ... ends with random house chores.
Beginning to thinking in dreams ... not in goals.

I remember so clearly...

2011-09-15T14:50:00.000-06:00

I remember the day so clearly, when David and I found out that Joe went to the hospital for a couple of scans. Scans? Scans for what we thought!? We had just hung out with Joe and Sue a few days before that and the didn't mention anything. Biopsy? Biopsy for what?!

I remember so clearly Joe's laughter and smiles, even after he began the chemo treatments. We were hanging out regularly on the weekend days that he felt good. He made us feel like nothing much had changed, I think we made him feel that way too.

I remember so clearly Joe's words in his care page emails - the floods of responses that he would get. He was trying to be honest with all of us, and give US the encouraging words and hope.

I remember so clearly going to dinner with Joe & Sue, watching movies and feeling like nothing in the world would change the four of us.

I remember so clearly celebrating the word remision!! The life that had been in "pasue" could begin again. And the defeat that rang through my heart, with the words "it's back."

I remember so clearly our special trip to Mexico. Planning the trip with Joe, hoping that Sue and David would be fine with our decisions, and the realizing that they didn't have a choice in the matter. :) Talking on the beach, a deep sea fishing trip & the best chicken mole of my life along with a chocolate fountain dessert!

I remember the words that spoke of the end. Wanting to scream, cry and kick.

I remember so clearly not knowing what to say, what to do or how to help. I remember wanting to help, but not be in the way. I remember not saying enough, not doing enough and not feeling enough.

I remember so clearly telling Joe that I loved him for the last time, and getting a very sleepy "I love you too" in response.

I remember so clearly the pain that made me numb. The phone call. The deva ju of the week before losing David's Grandpa Ted.

I remember so clearly knowing that my heart was not the only one hurting, not the one hurt the deepst. Emotions feeling like slivers rocking through our worlds.

I remember Joe., so clearly. I miss Joe so much.

I remember that's why I walk. I walk so that I remember.

http://pages.lightthenight.org/rm/DenverL11/JEberhard

You Have Cancer...

2011-08-31T14:20:00.000-06:00

It's cancer. You have cancer.....

What if you were to hear those words.... what next?

What if your family was to hear those words..... how long?

In fact, I am sure most of you have already been in one of either of these positions.

In just a couple of days, I will be walking in memory of one of my favorite people that had to deal with just those words.

I know it's important to know where your money goes when you donate it to such special causes, so here is a breakout for what our donations do for Light the Night.

Funds raised by teams and individual walkers provide:

• • Lifesaving blood cancer research
• • Free educational materials and events for patients and their families
• • Local programs such as Family Support Groups and First Connection, a peer-to-peer counseling program
• • Comprehensive, personalized assistance through our Information Resource Center

Light The Night Walk events are evenings filled with inspiration. During this leisurely walk, walkers carry illuminated balloons - white for survivors, red for supporters and gold in memory of loved ones lost to cancer - thousands of walkers - men, women and children - form a community of caring, bringing light to the dark world of cancer.

I think the biggest and best information to hear is this:

• A donation of $25 provides patients and their loved ones with FREE booklets that contain up-to-date information on their disease and help them make informed decisions about their treatment options.

This touches my heart so much, that our donations - help people who have just heard those fightening words, " You have cancer..." and gives them back the power and the hope, by getting them FREE information to help them decide "what's next"?

Click here help me in my fundraising efforts today, not really for me - but for the people that have had blood cancers, the people the do have blood cancers, and most importantly the people that will have blood cancers......

Jennifer

Do you think it's wrong to display two cross bars that cross together in a cross form, from one of the 9-11 twin towers, at Ground Zero?

2011-08-11T17:11:00.000-06:00

I think not, I think it's a beautiful display of HOPE- same as the first-responders felt when they saw it standing there during the tragic clean up from the hate that was expressed on 911. But of course, there is a group saying that a cross doesn't belong at Ground Zero. It amazes me what simple things people fight against. They say that the Christian symbol does not belong at Ground Zero. And yes, myself being a Christian, there aren't many places that I wouldn't like to see the beauty of a cross displayed - shoe stores, Target, King Soopers, or dog parks- bring it on, I don't care. :) And yet for me this cross isn't a symbol of Christianity, it's greater than that. To me this cross stands as a symbol of LOVE, HOPE and HONOR. A symbol that many of us can look at (pictures attached) and know exactly where it's from, because these such pictures are burned into our memories of Sept 11th, 2001 and the many tense days that followed.

A symbol that allows us to remember the LOVE that everyone involved in all events that day showed from walking into obviously falling buildings, to caring for people in the streets, feeding and caring for tired and overworked emergency responders in many US locations, sharing a hug with a nervous co-worker as you watch the event unfold on the television, and the love that many many of those families will never feel again because their family members lost their lives in the many tragedies of the day. LOVE.

A symbol that allows us to feel the HOPE that this fateful day is not the end. Hope that we will carry on as a country. That a new generation knows what it feels like to be attacked on our home soil and the hope that we can now understand and strive to share with other countries as well. The hope of rebuilding. The hope of tomorrow being better for our children, not darker. HOPE.

A symbol of HONOR the lives lost, to the work that was done, and the work that continues. Honor for our country, as we stood together for one cause. Honor for those that continue to give their lives of blood, sweat and tears to careers of service. Honor for those families who have to go on living without their loved ones. HONOR.

But beyond that - this beautiful building crossbar cross, the history, the emotion it carries - belongs there at Ground Zero. That's where it's from, that's where it belongs!! Let 9-11 be remembered for the people that showed love, hope and honor, and not the fighting that took place ten years later as we bickered on how they should be remembered.

Read and click the link below if you would like your American voice - not specific to Christian or any other religion, nor man or woman, not white skin, black skin, pink skin, orange skin, brown skin, green skin or tan skin, nor republican or democrat, not conservative or liberal - nothing - just your proud and loud American voice to be heard, that this cross should be allowed to stay at Ground Zero.

If you disagree with me...great! Email me, call me and lets talk about it, least of all delete this email - but please there is no reason to delete me in your email/phone or send back any hateful "I'll never be your friend again" kind of message. That's the fun of the United States' First Amendment to the Constitution, we both get to have opinions and co-exist at the same time.

And to those of you, that I haven't seen for a while - HI! I've missed you. :)

Proud to be an American (maybe not of my government) but of the PEOPLE who have long ago and just today gave their lives, who are still giving their lives to service and even to those who will still someday give their lives to this great nation- so that I can live free, have my strong opinions (on anything) and still be heard. :)

Jennifer Eberhard

1 Corinthians 13:4

Home (303) 655-7920 / Mobile (720) 937-4086 Wanna great get more done?
Check out my Mary Kay profile and personal store link. Have you ever bought a greeting card?
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Any typos you find are just tests for your excellent reading skills.

Take The 5 Love Languages profile with this widget

2011-05-06T13:33:00.001-06:00

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2011-05-05T10:27:00.001-06:00

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Jar of Hearts

2011-05-02T15:52:00.000-06:00

Another sluggish heart pick me up... Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri

Who do you think you are? Justified? Really? Leaving scars.....

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?
You lost the love
I loved the most

And I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are?
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?
Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are?
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

The Wreck of Myself...

2011-05-02T11:31:00.000-06:00

Found a new song today...I like it. I feel it. It makes me wanna cry at work. :(

I feel like within a couple simple questions, everything can turn into a wreck.

I know that within a couple awful minutes, everything is a wreck... I feel like giving up.

Wreck of the Day by Anna Nalick

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And the light's always red in the rear-view
Desperately close to a coffin of hope
I'd cheat destiny just to be near you
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus
'Cause love doesn't hurt so I know I'm not falling in love
I'm just falling to pieces

And if this is giving up then I'm giving up
If this is giving up then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love

And maybe I'm not up for being a victim of love
When all my resistance will never be distance enough

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And it's finally quiet in my head
Driving alone, finally on my way home to the comfort of my bed
And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love

What Goes Around... Comes Around

2011-04-15T13:27:00.000-06:00

Yes it does..... doesn't it. What's coming back around to you? me? Love this whole video: Justin, song, Scarlett, theme- everything....

I don't believe you about much....

2011-04-11T15:49:00.000-06:00

I don’t mind it
I don’t mind at all
It’s like you’re the swing set
And I’m the kid that falls
It’s like the way we fight
The times I’ve cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passion’s there
So it’s got to be right
Right?

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart
No I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all

I don’t mind it
I still don’t mind at all
It’s like one of those bad dreams
When you can’t wake up
It’s like you’ve given up
You’ve had enough
But I want more
No I won't stop
Because I just know
You’ll come around
Right?

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart
No I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all

Just don’t stand there and watch me fall
Because I, because I still don’t mind at all

It’s like the way we fight
The times I’ve cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passions there
So it’s got to be right,
Right?

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart
No I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all

I don’t believe you

http://www.elyricsworld.com/i_don't_believe_you_lyrics_pink.html

I'm Fine.

2011-04-07T13:27:00.000-06:00

It's hard to share everything that you've been through, it's hard to believe that anyone cares to know. So how am I? I'm fine. Nothing more, nothing less - what do you expect from me the truth?

It's hard to think through all of it every day, it's hard to wonder what would have been. So how am I? I'm fine. No smile today, just getting through; I'm not frowning either, so back off of me. What do you expect the truth?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/allyjadetakesphotos/2878604385/

It's hard after you've been lied to, kicked down, beaten and abused. Your heart is in little pieces and your life feels so empty. It's hard to know that anyone cares. So how am I? I'm fine. I'm still getting up and living, even though my heart is in shreds because of you.

It's hard knowing there was life and now there is none. It's hard knowing what was there, is now gone.
So how am I? So how am I? You haven't even asked. But I'm fine.

Today's Song

2011-04-07T13:10:00.000-06:00

I'm really feeling this song today - it speaks to me on so many different levels of life. It speaks about me on so many different levels.

I don't know if I can yell any louder

How many times have I kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting? da da da da-da
I can be so mean when I wanna be; I am capable of really anything; I can cut you into pieces

When my heart is....broken

Da da da-da da
Please don't leave me; Please don't leave me; I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this; Please, don't leave me

How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I've never been this nasty
Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
But baby I don't mean it
I mean it, I promise

Da da da-da da
Please don't leave me
Da da da-da da
Please don't leave me
Da da da-da da
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me

I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me
I can't be without, you're my perfect little punching bag
And I need you, I'm sorry.

Da da da da, da da da da
da da da da-da da

Please, please don't leave me
Baby please don't leave me
No, don't leave me
Please don't leave me no no no

You say I don't need you but it's always gonna come right back,
It's gonna come right back to this.
Please, don't leave me.
No.
No, don't leave me

Please don't leave me, oh no no no.
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this

Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me

[Please Don't Leave Me Lyrics On http://www.elyricsworld.com/ ]

The Sarum Primer prayer

2010-12-17T15:56:00.002-07:00

God be in my head
and in my understanding;

God be in my eyes
and in my looking;

God be in my mouth
and in my speaking;

God be in my heart
and in my thinking;

God be at my end
and at my departing.

(from Jan 2011 - The Newsletter Newsletter)

I'm not over you yet...

2010-11-19T15:10:00.001-07:00

Just ran into this song today - I don't know why but I love it. Guess I'm not feeling like myself lately....

Title: Hear Me Out lyrics

Artist: Frou Frou

I join the queue on your answer phone

And all I am is holding breath
Just pick up I know you're there
Can't you hear?
I'm not myself

Well, go ahead and lie to me
You could say anythingSmall talk will be just fine
Your voice is everything
We owe it to love
And it all depends on you

So listen up
The sun hasn't set
(I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling)
Just hear me out
I'm not over you yet
(It's love on the line, can you handle it?)

So how do I do normal?
A smile I fake
the "per-ma-nent-way"
cue-cards and fix-it kits
Can't you tell?
I'm not myself

I'm a slow motion accident
Lost in coffee rings and fingerprints
I don't wanna feel anything but I do
And it all comes back to you

So listen up
"This" sun hasn't set
(I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling)
Just hear me out
I'm not over you yet
(It's love on the line, can you handle it?)

Hear me out
Listen up
This time you gotta listen to me - yeah
Look at me straight
Just hear me out
Don't make me wait
I'm not myself
I can't take this
Love's on the line
Is that your final answer?
I join the queue on your answer phone
And all I am is holding breath
Just pick up, I know you're there...

So listen up
"This" sun hasn't set
(I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling)
Just hear me out
I'm not over you yet
(It's love on the line, can you handle it?)

Holy Crap we won BEST banner @ Flatirons!!

2010-11-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

Our banner rocked!!! And I can't take ANY credit, it was all Sue and Denise as far as I am aware. :)

Look how good Lilly and Jacbo carried it!

Flatirons Light the Night 2010 Part 2

2010-11-19T11:14:00.001-07:00

Really was a beautiful night. I'm looking forward to walking next year already.

Flatirons Light the Night 2010 Part 2

2010-11-19T11:10:00.000-07:00

Can you find the smile?! :) Who knows what Steve said to Sue at this point. :)

Flatirons Light the Night 2010 Part 2

2010-11-19T11:09:00.000-07:00

Flatirons Light the Night 2010 Part 2

2010-11-19T11:08:00.000-07:00

Good shot of the whole team!!! I just can't tell you how much I love all these people!!
And the shirts were way! too cool. :)

Flatirons Light the Night 2010 Part 2

2010-11-19T11:07:00.000-07:00

Rememberance Service before the walk.

Flatirons Light the Night 2010 Part 2

2010-11-19T11:06:00.000-07:00

Friend Sarah and Mr. Jacob before we figured out they had the wrong color balloons. :)

Flatirons Light the Night 2010 Part 2

2010-11-19T11:05:00.000-07:00

More of the team. :)

Flatirons Light the Night 2010 Part 2

2010-11-19T11:04:00.000-07:00

We are writting on ribbons in Memory of Joe, but we all made Jenny do it cuz her handwritting is much nicer. :)

Flatirons Light the Night 2010 Part 2

2010-11-19T11:01:00.000-07:00

Flatirons Light the Night 2010

2010-11-19T10:57:00.001-07:00

Thank you again to everyone that supported me at the 2010 Light The Night walk in Flatirons! We were a part of raising $91,000 and almost a full million in the Rocky Mountain chapter. Check out more details here http://pages.lightthenight.org/rm/Flatiron10/JEberhard

Personality Conflicts

2010-10-21T12:35:00.000-06:00

I liked this. Go find out what kind of time managment personality you have, click this LINK.

But what does it mean when I would be the one seen rushing (not running, never running LOL) to my car, forgetting that I have to go to the restroom, with full arm carrying my lastest project, that I haven't had enough time to committ to it, because of other tasks I am trying to hold down, trying to tell myself, I'll get to things only when I get to them, all while on my phone texting...... I know, I'm crazy. :)

Pain

2010-10-11T20:04:00.000-06:00

Is pain the ultimate feeling? It seems to be such a stong motivator sometimes. Stronger than happiness, stronger than it all it seems. Pain can be theroputic as well, shared with friends, shared with no one. There has been a lot of pain in my life right now, some growing pains, some from injuries inflicted by others. I am just trying to figure out how to think through the pain ... How to move on ... Or if there is a moving on.

Is dreaming small worth dreaming?

2010-10-08T15:06:00.000-06:00

Holy Cow I love this entry: http://beingagirlbooks.com/blog/2010/10/the-dangers-of-playing-it-safe/

Doesn't Seem Possible

2010-10-05T11:06:00.000-06:00

I think the most important thing that I learned from my small time (10 years) that I got to know Grandpa B, and be a part of his family is that: there is value in a good story. Grandpa's stories were so much fun, they were also very long - but when you asked, he told you. I loved that! and I loved him.

Can you TASTE it? Sushi Night

2010-09-27T17:36:00.000-06:00

Looking forward to going to dinner tonight with some friends, for a fix of my newest obession. :) Speciality rolls at Happy Sumo.... mmmmm, yummy!!!

Light The Night Support Request

2010-09-14T12:58:00.000-06:00

I'm raising money for a very important cause, through The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Light The Night Walk: finding better treatments and cures for blood cancers so patients can live better, longer lives. I'm asking you to help by making a tax-deductible contribution! Please use the link in this email to donate online quickly & securely. You will receive an email confirmation of your donation as soon as it is made.
As you know, Lymphoma is the nasty disease that took Joe Grein, our 28 year old cousin and best-friend whom David and I are walking in memory of, a year ago this October. This is a very close, personal and important cause for us! Please help us support this walk, and this great organization that was a direct support to Joe and Sue as they battled through each step of the process. In Memory of Joe - Cancer Sucks!!

I thank you in advance for your support which will make a difference in the lives of thousands of patients battling blood cancers.

I really appreciate your generosity!! The actual walk is Sept 25th, so please donate as soon as possible, to help us cover our goal. http://pages.lightthenight.org/rm/Flatiron10/JEberhard (or click the picture above)

Cute!

2010-06-24T13:39:00.002-06:00

LOL - I love it!

Wobbly Weekend

2010-06-21T11:52:00.000-06:00

Weekend was so fast - and so not productive like I would have prefered. I don't feel rested, I don't feel like I "got ahead" of anything. But I do feel like Monday is going well. So.... I'll take it.

I need my FRIENDS!

2010-06-18T12:28:00.001-06:00

This really made me feel good this week, an email shared by a friend . :)

I just finished taking an evening class at Stanford. The last lecture was on the mind-body connection--the relationship between stress and disease. The speaker (head of psychiatry
at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for
his health is to be married to a woman whereas for a woman, one of the best things she
could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends. At first
everyone laughed, but he was serious.

Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality "girlfriend time" helps us to create more serotonin--a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being. Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities. They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going. Jobs? Yes. Sports? Yes. Cars? Yes. Fishing, hunting, golf? Yes. But their feelings? --rarely. Women do it all of the time.

We share from our souls with our sisters, and evidently that is very good for our health.
He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as
jogging or working out at a gym. There's a tendency to think that when we are "exercising" we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged--not true. In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking! So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat
yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health!
We are indeed very very lucky. Sooooo let's toast to our friendship with our girlfriends.
Evidently it's very good for our health.

Rules of Engagement

2010-06-16T14:03:00.003-06:00

Ugggghhhhhh - I hate following the rules. And what do I even hate more than following someone else's rules? Making my own to follow.... (sigh) So when I was directed to sit down and make my own "rules of engagement" when it comes to communication and conflict, I just shuttered. But why do I have to do this? I don't wanna!

I guess, mainly because there is a much nicer feeling that comes with "I'll try" or "maybe"

then a set of Rules,

made by Myself

to follow - for the bettering of myself being understood

or even for something much more important: my marriage.

Reading this today: "Pretty soon your mate started to slip off your lofty pedestal, and you off theirs. The forced closeness of marriage began stripping away your public facades, exposing your private problems and secret habits. Welcome to fallen humanity."

That's heavy, I do feel that way, - but I still don't want to create rules that I have to follow and he doesn't. Ok, I am being selfish, so I keep reading: " don't think living (this) will drive all conflict from your marriage. Instead, this is about dealing with conflict in such a way that you come out healthier on the other side.
Both of you. Together."

I still don't wanna, mainly because I don't like to admit to myself when I fall - it hurts, it's hard to be disappointed in yourself and feel set up for failure. But I'll do it. Whew! This is really hard for me, I want you to know. :) I'll do it.

Since there are two types of boundaries that I've been asked to create, "We" and "Me", and since my husband and I haven't had this conversation (mainly because I don't know how to bring it up) I will only work on the Me Boundaries today.

I will not mention divorce like it is part of our future.
I will not lie to David.
I will not look for zingers to hurt David.
I will not fight in public with him.
I will not let myself off the hook and blow up.
I will not hit or strike in a harmful way.
I will not talk before I pray and listen.
I will not yell and scream.

All of this kind feels really negative, so let me re-phrase them.

I will talk and remind us both of the long future that our marriage has, and celebrating our anniversaries together with joy!
I will speak only in truth.
I will speak kindly and in love at all times.
I will let things go when we are in public, and politely ask that we re-visit that issue when we are alone.
I will control my feelings and stay calm.
I will touch only in love and affection.
I will listen first, and pray to my God before speaking.
I will speak gently and keep my voice down.

I have made my rules and I will play by them for "If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand." Mark 3:25

Have I ever really listened ?

2010-06-15T00:07:00.000-06:00

Sunday's sermon at North Metro always gives us a few notes to dig deeper with ....

Today's is pretty rough,

Deeper Still Lifeway Blog- Recap

2010-06-14T12:30:00.000-06:00

http://blogs.lifeway.com/blog/womenallaccess/

Another woman's recap, from Lifeway.

Deeper Still, Denver CO

2010-06-14T12:25:00.000-06:00

Oh my, I don't know if I can find the right words to describe the Deeper Still women's conferance this past weekend in Denver, but I loved it! I heard so much, I learned so much, I hurt so much, I loved so much, I sang so much, I praised so much, but I thankfully didn't buy so much! :) Over the next few weeks, I will be unloading some of my notes and thoughts, but until I have the time to do that here is a video that shows what Deeper Still was about in a nut shell.

Deeper Still - Denver CO from Rich Kalonick on Vimeo.

My Heart is Still Breaking Today

2010-06-04T14:28:00.000-06:00

You Pick Me Up

2010-06-04T09:49:00.000-06:00

Father God, Every time that he crushes me, rolls me over to hurt my underside - Lord lift me up!

Somehow I feel like everytime he gets a chance David is rude to me, ignores me, makes zigger comments - and I am trying so hard to keep loving. Even though he is not filling me up, Lord! I know you will! I know you want to Father, and I want you to also. Lord, give me the patience and focus to get through this day succesfully Lord. Let me thrive in your presence, let me dance in your glory.

Lord pick me up while we twirl.....

I Can Be A Classic.... Or Maybe I Am More of a Hot Rod.

2010-05-25T14:51:00.000-06:00

The key is to understand that marriage is like a luxury sports car. You wouldn't spend your life's fortune on a new, shiny, red sports car and then stop changing the oil. Marriage also takes regular maintenance to run properly. If it is left virtually ignored for a period of time, warning lights will come on. If those are ignored, it will break down. The good news is that when a breakdown occurs in a marriage there are expert mechanics who can help you rebuild the relationship. You just have to be willing to work on it. (But unlike a car, you can't simply trade it in for a new model. The old problems tend to follow you when they are not addressed. And, if you stick with it, your marriage will become an enviable "classic" you would never even want to sell.) ~ exerpt of What Makes Marriages Get Better? by Amy Desai, J.D.

This is amazing to hear coming from another person... I have totally felt this way and have even used it as an example. Why do we listen to the beeps or dings coming from our car, but not when they come from our relationships?

God's Sweet Voice

2010-05-25T11:51:00.002-06:00

It's been so long since I've heard it - It's been so long since I've listened. Sunday, God spoke clearly to my heart....... and this is what God said.

I told you, I wanted you closer.
I want you to trust me.
I am sorry that you are going through this right now - but I needed you to come to me, to trust me and to believe me. I do have control of this circumstance. I will not let you down. I love you and I will speak my truth and awe through you.
Glory is mine and I will protect you. I am bigger than you and bigger than this hurt, know that this is the best thing for you. I told you I'd pull you close. In your story, I will be glory.

Father, thank you for your words to my heart. I really needed them, and I do trust you father! I know that you remember your pormises, and that you love and honor marriage.

Approval Required, and Granted

2010-05-25T11:43:00.000-06:00

Thank you for everyone who commented or replied to my blog yesterday. I did talk to David about it, and asked how he would feel if I blogged about us - that I had posted something and wanted to know that if he was uncomfortable with it that I would take it back down. He said it didn't matter to him, and that it wasn't like anyone would read it. :) lol I agreed, the only real reason people read it was because I had send out an email to a few friends, that were already full aware of the situation. I am trying to be considerate of his feelings, and wasn't trying to embaress him or spill our dirty laundry out - just me thinking and talking through typing. It's a good way for me to stay positive and not let all of this get me down. :) If David would have told me that he didn't like the idea or wouldn't want me to blog about it publicly - I would have just went back to the good ole pen and paper, respecting his wishes. Because I truely to desire a transformation in myself, I am tired of being the person only the world sees - I want everyone to see the real me that I know I am.
'Cuz I am pretty fun and cool. :)

Stay

2010-05-24T14:43:00.001-06:00

Where have you been,
My long lost friend?
It's good to see you again.
Come and sit for a while
I've missed your smile
Today the past is goodbye.
Time can't erase
A lover's embrace.
Can't you hear it calling?
A new day dawning
You were longing to find.

Love's taken you far
Away from my heart,
And I've been here all alone.
Have your eyes failed to find
What took you from mine,
A vision that's faded through time?
But you sailed away,
A fine summer's day,
Cause you heard it calling,
A new day dawning,
You were longing to find.

There is a way to make you stay.
Darlin don't turn away
Don't doubt your heart
and keep us apart
I'm right where you are
Stay

There is a way to make you stay.
Darlin don't turn away.
Don't doubt your heart
and keep us apart
I'm right where you are
Stay.

The Pouring Out of My Heart

2010-05-24T10:57:00.003-06:00

As some of you will know, David and I have been struggling with the happiness in our marriage lately. There has been many factors of the course of many months, that have slowly tugged us away from each other. We both have been selfish and hurtful and we need prayers! We need strength to focus on the right thing to do, and not always what we want to do. It's very difficult for both of us right now, and (I think) we are both trying to take it slow and think things through. Please keep praying for us and our marriage. David has told me that he might want a break from our marriage and for me to move out for a while. I've tried to tell him and show him (in love) that I am not going anywhere, in space or time and that I can not stop doing my job as a wife just because he might decide that he wants to stop doing his job as a husband. This is seriously the most difficult thing that I've ever had to think of facing in my life. I went to church yesterday, it was wonderful and God spoke clearly to my broken heart. I am trying to stay positive and focused in love (instead of being crushed and destroyed by this) and even though my group bible study is up, I am trying to be in the Word, knowing the only true transformation comes from the Lord. (and boy am I seeing how much I need transformed!) Lord do your work in me! Let my heart be rebuilt in you the master carpenter! I have been so blinded by the person that I've become, I have been so wrong in my words and actions.

I hope that David can forgive me, and trust that I want to try again, this time whole hearted and not staying protected and scared. I also hope that David is talking and listening to the right people, not the people that might be telling him that it's all up to him, it's his decision that matters, he has to do what's right for him, and sometimes you just have to think about yourself. That's not love - and that's not the commitment that we made to each other; that is just more of the selfishness that we've already both shared enough of, I think it's time we both try something new.

1 Corinthians 13:4-13 reads "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (People from all walks of life and spiritual beliefs come to this verse to learn how to love; then why do we allow ourselves to direct each other in the opposite direction? Why is it so hard to tell each other to stop being so selfish all the time, and to do what's right? I don't have the answers, I just know that it is difficult, it seems we don't want to take away their right to be selfish, just in case they try to do the same for us.)

I tried to say that (we needed to try something new other than us both being selfish) at dinner of Saturday, where he told me that he feels like he has changed, and has already checked out ... doesn't think he even wants to work on us. I can understand not wanting to sometimes, cuz this is hard! this isn't an easy peezy thing! but I just hope that he will be open to trying. We took a drive after dinner and he finally did talk to me more about the "things" that have been bothering him for so long that he's ready to give up. None of these things are "deal breakers" alone, but for him he's thinking all together they might be. :( I have been trying to adjust the few things that he told me about Tuesday before last and tried to show him that in even two weeks, that I've cared enough about his words that I am adjusting my attitude and self. (They are good changes; that need to happen with or without him, so don't worry about me changing for a man.) I have been able to see how truly selfish that I have been in our marriage - thinking I've not doing this, because he hasn't done that - and feel ashamed that it has come to this for me to realize it. I have not been a good wife, and it breaks my heart. I want to change, I want to be a better me, I want to love more purely, and I want to be an example of a great marriage that only God could have held together. And I really pray that we are on our way there. That's a huge prayer of mine right now, that God will open both David and my hearts to be able to listen to Him, understand the meaning and need of our marriage and commitment we made, and the desire to give real un-selfish love. :) I am trying super hard to make some needed adjustments in myself right now, and please pray that the Lord continues to give me power and strength. Love you lots! Thank you, thank you for all of your prayers, nice words and thoughts to check in on us. I don't know what I would do without you right now.

Dry Heaves

2010-04-16T12:01:00.000-06:00

I want to throw up but I haven't been brave enough to eat anything.
I want to do whatever I want to do.
I want to say whatever it is I want to say.
I want to talk to whoever I want to talk to.
I want to but I don't, because it's not the right thing to do.

So instead ...
I won't throw up, I'll even try to eat.
I won't do what I want.
I won't say what I feel.
I won't talk to who I want to talk to.

I won't care to love you anymore.

2010-03-24T14:27:00.003-06:00

I remember on this very day a year ago, many of us gathered to celebrate Joe. It was a surprise party for his birthday!!! When I got word about it, I was soooo excited! It was fun sneaking around Joe's back - knowing that he would love the surprise, only after he was done being irritated. :) LOL

I remember the look on his face when he turned the corner and pow! a whole room of family and friends shouted and smiled at him. He smiled back, kinda - I don't remember the exact words, but something smart came from him, I am sure. :) We almost got in trouble, even though we weren’t the ones that planned it – I don’t think it mattered though, he knew we were all in on it together. We all had a great dinner, laughs and really had a good time. He handled the surprise well & was in such good spirits the whole night. Joe didn't like to be the center of attention, unless it was on his time and his decision.

Everyone once in a while, Joe made that decision – and watch out world, you might not know who Joe Grien is – but he would make sure you were watching! Which made him very fun to be around. Especially when hanging out with David (his cousin and friend), those two would get so goofy; Sue and I would just sit back to watch (babysit).  LOL David shared a little bit about a Habachi dinner, put put golf and taunting other cars night – some day I’ll let you know how that really went down. 

Your dad loved food; cooking it AND eating it. That is the majority of David and I's best memories, going out to eat with Joe and Sue. We liked food just as much, but somehow it showed up on us more than him - working for UPS I think he was able to burn more of our weekend delights off faster! :) Granted, he also would work out while training with the fire dept; which he loved!

I remember having Steak Night a bunch of times, Joe and David would grill. Sue and I would get everything else ready. Joe, Sue and I had similar seasoning tastes, which was really nice that way I didn't think I was crazy when David would complain about my cooking. LOL

I love how Uncle Steve wrote about Joe being a “quotes guy”; that is so true, I just didn't know how to say it. The quotes that I heard most were from our fav movies. We used to watch all kinda of movies and each one would show back up in life within a few days - when the moment was right, to use a quote from the movie. Some got used over and over - and still do till this day. Joe definitely made David and I pay more attention to these movies, so we could play along in the months to come. We are still training Sue though. :) I just hope that you (Jacob) will have the same awesome, wild, warped sense of humor that Joe did – and from what I can see now, you do. And that’s great! We’ll be able to have lots of good times.

In closing, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE!!! You should know that even without you here celebrating with us – we are still celebrating you! Love you so much & can’t believe all that you have done for each of us! Thank you for the smiles, movies, steaks, laughs, tears, and honesty that you taught us how to share with you, and now without you. Even now, we are still growing from the time that we spent with you and we know that we are still so blessed to have you in our life! It is good for us to remember, it is good for us to still laugh, because if we weren’t – you would make us laugh by reminding us that “you piss excellence” (Talledega Nights), or that “it's so good, once it [beer] hits your lips, its so good” (Old School), or maybe even “We're gonna dance to one song, and one song only” (Blades of Glory). HEY MOM! CAN WE GET SOME MEATLOAF? (Wedding Crashers)

It's been over 150 days...

2010-03-12T10:38:00.004-07:00

It's been over 170 days since David and I lost one of our best friends. I kept thinking that I would write something in a while, ... in a while - maybe later. However, now I am starting to see that it's probably more that because I haven't written anything, that it still hurts so much, verses finding the "right" time to write after the hurt starts to fade. Cuz it isn't and I am starting to wonder if it does.

October 11, 2009
David and I went over to have dinner and watch a movie with Joe and Sue. It wasn't a surprise that he didn't get up for dinner or wasn't interested in eating. He had been fighting this for over a year and a half; it wasn't over yet, but there wasn't much they could do. Keeping Joe comfortable was the priority. We had tried to keep his awake time, for other visitors and didn't bombard them like we would have liked too. Both Joe and Sue would get so tired from too many visitors; they were battleing this together, and both were showing signs of stress. We didn't want to make it hard on them- but at the same point, hanging out every weekend was so normal we couldn't stay away. David and I are both so very very blessed to have that last thing that we said to Joe that that we loved him, his response was he loved us too. And I will always treasure that!

Oh Baby, Baby!!!

2010-01-14T10:13:00.002-07:00

Oh my goodness, somehow when I left the house I just knew it would be today! My best friend is possibly starting her labor with her 2nd child. Since I was there for the 1st, I am hoping to be there for the 2nd as well. I am so excited, trying to work still since I haven't heard any more details, but it's hard to stay focused. And! if I don't get an important work delivery, I am not sure if I'll be able to leave. Ugh.

Drilling Down Notes 11.08.2009

2009-11-11T14:55:00.004-07:00

Here are my thoughts/notes as I drill down from Sunday's message-

1. List three goals you have for you life (and your family) as of today. Have these always been your goal? What has helped or hindered you accomplishing your goals? Discuss.

Wow, that's a big question. Three goals for my family/future would be 1) become self employed, with the option to work outside the home 2) own and operate a self sustaining ranch and farm with a BIG beautiful home on the land 3) LIVE like no one else (after we live like no one else). These haven't always been my goals, the ranch has beenmainly just since married. Although, I have kinda always wanted to be self empolyed some how, and to live like no one else. I am just not convinced the "normal" is what really God has in store for me. Well, with large scale of my goals not much seem to help - and all are hindered greatly by money and time. (11.11.2009)

2. According to Romans 8:28-30 and Romans 12:1-2, what is God's goal for your life? Are you letting God accomplish His goal in and through you? Why or why not?

God's plan is to make us more like Christ, so that we can be justified and gloried through Him. And to be transformed being able to discern His will. I am trying to let God accomplish this through me, although I know my pig headed stubbornness and fear gets in the way a lot of the times. But I am and will continue to study His word, hoping to be more like Christ. (11.11.2009)

3. Read Phil. 3:7-10 what did Paul and what do we have to be willing to do in order for God to continue and ultimately complete His work in us? Read Phil. 3:20-21, 1 John 3:2 and John 10:10, when will this goal be fully realized and what does this mean for us today?

We have to give everything up to the Lord. We have to not stand on our own with the law, but with Christ in grace. Let Him have control. This goal won't be fully realized until we are in Heaven, and truely like Christ. It means that we can live now, and live abundantly. (11.11.2009)

4. We are to live by faith (Gal 2:20, Heb 11:6) What does living by faith look like to you? How are we to view God as we live by faith (Ps 66:5, Isaiah 55:8)? Read Acts 22:10-15. How did God ask Paul to live by faith?

To be answered 11.12

5. Read 2Corinthians 3:16-18. What do these verses suggest about God's transformation process in your life? Read 2Corinth 3:5-6. What brings and sustains life? How do we translate this principle into how we live?

To be answered 11.13

6. As we wrap up the Out of Control series and Be Transformed Life Group material, what have you learned? How has god impacted your life? What has changed? Discuss.

To be answered 11.14

If you are interstested in the sermon that this is drilling down from - go to northmetrochurch.org and click the podcast link, this was week 9 of Out of Control.

Drilling Down From Sunday

2009-11-11T10:26:00.004-07:00

These are my message notes from Sunday's (11.08.2009) sermon on 2 Corinthians 3:16-18. They won't make much sence, but I just want a place to "store" these thoughts. :)

Out of Control: Week 9 - Be Transformed
Three closing thoughts on living life Out of Control...

1. The Goal of life is Christ-likeness. (Romans 8:29)

know and share
sucess isn't only by progress/increase
God's work in us & thoughts
doesn't fit on a stat sheet
become a better you with Jesus - the world doesn't need a better me.
Christ is life Col. 3:4
stop measuring everything
let God work through ALL OF YOU

2. The Way of life is faith. (Galations 2:20)

Ps 66:5-7, Ish 55: 8-9, Job
would knowing it all bring you peace? maybe that's why He doesn't show us yet!
ask, He'll answer in STEPS! (Paul) not whole view
Proverbs 16:9 - trust Him to lead your steps
it is harder for God to move a still heart than a moving heart

3. The Practice of life is preserverance. (2 Cor. 3:16-18)

We ARE being transformed
His work not our work
be unveiled - God's glory can be shown/ not covered up
can't feel transformation - same as prevention in health
Let go Jennifer, there is nothing you can do.

If you would like to listen to the message that these notes came from visit Northmetrochurch.org - there click the podcast link.

Can't seem to get a smile on

2009-10-05T12:31:00.003-06:00

I just can't seem to "snap out of it" today - it's ridiculous, it's like I'm sad for something that hasn't even happened yet. I don't want to be sad. I don't want to be down. I've tried to walk around, sound happy when I answer the phone, but now that I am alone in the office, I feel like crying. I haven't yet, but feel like at any second at the drop of a hat, POW tears will be coming. :( *sniffle* Yes, there might be a lot to cry about, it's been a very hard couple of months to get my mind around, but I'm not even the one that is most effected in all of this, I feel stupid to be upset already, so soon. (again.)

We expect to say goodbye to Grandpa B with in the next few days. He's very weak, doesn't breath strongly anymore & hasn't opened his eyes today. I talked to Grandma B this morning, she's doing ok, but I think she's getting a bit more scared. That's fair, in fact more than fair. How do you say goodbye to someone that you've known and loved for 50 years?

With tears, I guess.

Tips, Tips & More Tips

2009-09-22T21:31:00.002-06:00

For the longest time I've been looking for tips. Tips to improve this or that, tips to ease this or soothe that.... tips that work, some that don't. But today, I ran into a tip - that made me stop in my tracks. It came from Barbara Sher in her weekly audio tip - which normally I don't even listen to or read any more - just to busy for her tips. Anyhow, today I took the time to listen and it was very intersting that stirred inside me. She said that it's time to do my own thinking, and that my happiness counts. Wow, does it? If everyone else's happiness counts, I don't know why mine wouldn't. :)

My happiness counts. Not meaning that we get to just go out and do whatever we want to do, but that someone cares about me and what I am feeling. That I count. I matter & that it's worth being me, and not someone else.

I hope that you know that you count too! In fact, I hope that you are thinking, "Duh, Jenn, how did you know already know that?" rather than that wow that I just got - and if you don't fit either of those.... I hope you'll get "it" soon.

In Christ,
Jennifer

Personal vs. Professional? The two lives we lead.

2009-09-11T10:23:00.004-06:00

Ran into this article today (directed from a church work related email.... )

Job Candidates Made to Submit Facebook Pages for Background Checks

What do you think? Should this be allowed? Would you stand for it - giving away your log ins and PASSWORDS to a "possible" employer??

I don't think I could.

It does make me wonder... should our employeers be in that much into our personal life? If not, does it feel like you two different people? one personal, one professional...

Curioiusly, at our (church work) staff lunch meeting we were talking about similar things. I have to be honest, I don't know if I like or want all of my co-workers & members of my church work on my facebook. It just makes me nervous, what if I say or write something, what if one of my friends says or writes something, that work doesn't agree with or like and it comes back to bite my job in the ass??

Maybe I am living two lives or maybe I just like seperation between work and play. However, I guess it does make you realize what image you are putting out to all of the people that you come in any contact with.

How about a good story... and a good cry?

2009-09-04T12:53:00.002-06:00

To Whoever Gets My Dog

They told me the big black Lab's name was Reggie as I looked at him lying in his pen. The shelter was clean, and the people really friendly. I'd only been in the area for six months, but everywhere I went in the small college town, people were welcoming and open. Everyone waves when you pass them on the street.But something was still missing as I attempted to settle in to my new life here, and I thought a dog couldn't hurt. Give me someone to talk to.And I had just seen Reggie's advertisement on the local news. The shelter said they had received numerous calls right after, but they said the people who had come down to see him just didn't look like "Lab people," whatever that meant. They must've thought I did.But at first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie and his things, which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys almost all of which were brand new tennis balls, his dishes, and a sealed letter from his previous owner. See, Reggie and I didn't really hit it off when we got home. We struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to adjust to his new home). Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust, too. Maybe we were too much alike.For some reason, his stuff (except for the tennis balls - he wouldn't go anywhere without two stuffed in his mouth) got tossed in with all of my other unpacked boxes. I guess I didn't really think he'd need all his old stuff, that I'd get him new thing s once he settled in, but it became pretty clear pretty soon that he wasn't going to.I tried the normal commands the shelter told me he knew, ones like "sit" and "stay" and "come" and "heel," and he'd follow them - when he felt like it. He never really seemed to listen when I called his name - sure, he'd look in my direction after the fourth of fifth time I said it, but then he'd just go back to doing whatever. When I'd ask again, you could almost see him sigh and then grudgingly obey.This just wasn't going to work. He chewed a couple shoes and some unpacked boxes. I was a little too stern with him and he resented it, I could tell.The friction got so bad that I couldn't wait for the two weeks to be up, and when it was, I was in full-on search mode for my cell phone amid all of my unpacked stuff. I remembered leaving it on the stack of boxes for the guest room, but I also mumbled, rather cynically, that the "damn dog probably hid it on me."Finally I found it, but before I could punch up the shelter's number, I also found his pad and=2 0other toys from the shelter. I tossed the pad in Reggie's direction and he snuffed it and wagged, some of the most enthusiasm I'd seen since bringing him home. But then I called, "Hey, Reggie, you like that come here and I'll give you a treat." Instead, he sort of glanced in my direction - maybe "glared" is more accurate - and then gave a discontented sigh and flopped down. With his back to me.Well, that's not going to do it either, I thought. And I punched the shelter phone number.But I hung up when I saw the sealed envelope. I had completely forgotten about that, too."Okay, Reggie," I said out loud, "let's see if your previous owner has any advice...""To Whoever Gets My Dog:Well, I can't say that I'm happy you're reading this, a letter I told the shelter could only be opened by Reggie's new owner.I'm not even happy writing it. If you're reading this, it means I just got back from my last car ride with my Lab after dropping him off at the shelter. He knew something was different. I have packed up his pad and toys before and set them by the back door before a trip, but this time…it's like he knew something was wrong. And something is wrong...which is why I have to go to try to make it right.So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it will help you bond with him and he with you.First, he loves tennis balls...the more the merri er. Sometimes I think he's part squirrel, the way he hordes them.He usually always has two in his mouth, and he tries to get a third in there. Hasn't done it yet.Doesn't matter where you throw them, he'll bound after it, so be careful - really don't do it by any roads. I made that mistake once, and it almost cost him dearly.Next, commands. Maybe the shelter staff already told you, but I'll go over them again: Reggie knows the obvious ones - "sit," "stay," "come," "heel." He knows hand signals: "back" to turn around and go back when you put your hand straight up; and "over" if you put your hand out right or left. "Shake" for shaking water off, and "paw" for a high-five. He does "down" when he feels like lying down - I bet you could work on that with him some more. He knows "ball" and "food" and "bone" and "treat" like nobody's business.I trained Reggie with small food treats. Nothing opens his ears like little pieces of hot dog.Feeding schedule: twice a day, once about seven in the morning, and again at six in the evening.Regular store-bought stuff; the shelter has the brand.He's up on his shots.Call the clinic on 9th Street and update his info with yours; they'll make sure to send you reminders for when he's due. Be forewarned: Reggie hates the vet. Good luck getting him in the car - I don't know how he knows when it's time to go to the vet, but he knows.Finally, give him some time.I've never been married, so it's only been Reggie and me for his whole life. He's gone everywhere with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if you can. He sits well in the backseat, and he doesn't bark or complain. He just loves to be around people, and me most especially.Which means that this transition is going to be hard, with him going to live with someone new. nd that's why I need to share one more bit of info with you...His name's not Reggie.I don't know what made me do it, but when I dropped him off at the shelter, I told them his name was Reggie. He's a smart dog, he'll get used to it and will respond to it, of that I have no doubt, but I just couldn't bear to give them his real name. For me to do that, it seemed so final, that handing him over to the shelter was as good as me admitting that I'd never see him again. And if I end up coming back, getting him, and tearing up this letter, it means everything's fine. But if someone else is reading it, well…well it means that his new owner should know his real name. It'll help you bond with him. Who knows, maybe you'll even notice a change in his demeanor if he's been giving you problems.His real name is Tank. Because that is what I drive.Again, if you're reading this and you 're from the area, maybe my name has been on the news. I told the shelter that they couldn't make "Reggie" available for adoption until they received word from my company commander. See, my parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could've left Tank with...and it was my only real request of the Army upon my deployment to Iraq, that they make one phone call the shelter...in the "event"...to tell them that Tank could be put up for adoption. Luckily, my colonel is a dog guy, too, and he knew where my platoon was headed. He said he'd do it personally. And if you're reading this, then he made good on his word.Well, this letter is getting to downright depressing, even though, frankly, I'm just writing it for my dog. I couldn't imagine if I was writing it for a wife and kids and family, but still, Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as long as the Army has been my family.And now I hope and pray that you make him part of your family and that he will adjust and come to love you the same way he loved me.That unconditional love from a dog is what I took with me to Iraq as an inspiration to do something selfless, to protect innocent people from those who would do terrible things...and to keep those terrible people from coming over here. If I had to give up Tank in order to do it, I am glad to have done so. He was my example of service and of love. I hope I honored him by my service to my country and comrades.<> All right, that's enough.I deploy this evening and have to drop this letter off at the shelter.I don't think I'll say another good-bye to Tank, though. I cried too much the first time. Maybe I'll peek in on him and see if he finally got that third tennis ball in his mouth.Good luck with Tank.Give him a good home, and give him an extra kiss goodnight - every night - from me.Thank you, Paul Mallory”I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope. Sure I had heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even new people like me. Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and posthumously earning the Silver Star when he gave his life to save three buddies. Flags had been at half-mast all summer.I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the dog."Hey, Tank," I said quietly.The dog's head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright. "C'mere boy."He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. He sat in front of me, his head tilted, searching for the name he hadn't heard in months."Tank," I whispered. His tail swished.I kept whispering his name, over and over, and each time, his ears lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture relaxed as a wave of contentment just seemed to flood him. I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried my face into20his scruff and hugged him."It's me now, Tank, just you and me. Your old pal gave you to me." Tank reached up and licked my cheek. "So whatdaya say we play some ball? His ears perked again."Yeah Ball, you like that Ball."Tank tore from my hands and disappeared in the next room. And when he came back...he had three tennis balls in his mouth.

Passed on by a mom, whose son is in Iraq.

Ps. Yes It make me cry at my desk. Jenn

So would you like me to buy you a new car??

2009-08-04T09:42:00.002-06:00

Well, forget it!
Besides the Cash for Clunkers is almost out of money anyhow.

Check this out - heard from it on Klove
http://klove.com/News/
http://www.wikio.com/video/1484057

Thoughts?

Today's Game: Let's Confuse the Doctors

2009-07-16T18:11:00.002-06:00

It's been a fun the last month, with David in and out of the doctors' offices, I had a small glimpse of the life a few friends have had. We are so glad now to have it figured out! * well kinda. *

David has a rare bacterial infection and everything about him getting sick hasn't made sense. A fever being his only sysmptom, it was pretty hard to track down what was truely going on in his body. Blood tests, blood tests and more blood tests - possible cat scan and even a ultra sound for a follow-up... This type of bacteria isn't normally in humans or in the States! Europe more likely, but it sounds like this area hasn't seen it in decades. Brucella is normally contracted through consuming non paturized dariy products or coming in contact with birthing cows. All cows now are vacinated for it here in the states, so it keeps the cases to "very rare". David doesn't eat or drink any kinda "weird milk" (his words, not mine) - unless we've been suckered into something at a restraunt or something....

Anyhow, normally it's animal/human contact, but unfortunately, you can also pass it sexually, althought again the possibility is very rare. :) So, not taking the risks of not knowing, today I went to my doctor to ask for the test - they were confused, it was funny.
The conversation and appointment went something like this:
"Hi, I need to come in for a blood draw for a bacterial Brucella test"
"A what test?"
"Brucella."
"How do you spell that?"
" I don't know... Bruce - ella? or Bruce-ella-ousiousousius?"
"It's a blood test?"
"Yeah, for a bacteria called Brucella."
"Ok?" .... long silence
"Yes, I know this isn't a normal test, yes you can call me back."

Hours later I get the call to come in and take the test.
"You are here for a what test?"
*sigh* After a few more moments, we are back on the same page, I sit for about 5 minutes (kinda a miricle in itself!) and the go back when my name is called.
(Side note: Why did they weigh me? All I wanted to do was give them some blood... agh!) :) anyhow I did get a laugh when I heard the tech ask someone what tube to use, seemed fitting because when David was in for one of his many blood tests - they had to look up a few different tubes for specific tests as well, at least I know my doc will run the same tests.... Then after my blood donation and they said they would call me in a few days, the doctor caught me in the hallway -
"So, you wanted us to test for Brucella?"
"Yep, that's right."
"It's not normally a test we run, why?"
*sigh* "Yep, I know it's really rare in the states, but my husband has it."
"Oh!" part excitment, part shock flashed in his face. "A confirmed case?"
"Yep, confirmed, he's been on antibiatics for about 4 weeks now, his latest blood test last week, shows he still has it."
"Oh! but you can't get it from him." He stated as a half question.
"Well, the CDC says that I can, so I figured it would be best to be tested."
"Oh! wow...." the conversation went on like this for a minute or so, his questions and my 1/2 answers really only being what I've read online or heard from David's doctor. Guess they will call me in a few days.... I wonder if I have it, if we'll be able to pin point where we got it from?

Now, I don't mean to sound like I am knocking my doctors, they are fine - my point is that David somehow got some crap that practically anyone under like 60 hasn't heard of.... and where??? where did he get it?? and now do I have it as well??

On the Right Path

2009-07-16T11:53:00.002-06:00

http://motivatethyself.com/constant-reflection-provides-pinpoint-accuracy/

Worth reading! Spoke very strongly to me.

Amazing! Hi-larious!

2009-07-15T12:11:00.001-06:00

http://consumerist.com/5314246/unruly-teen-charges-23-quadrillion-at-drugstore

Check it out- glad to see someone's in more debt than I am. Don't forget to check out some of the comments, they are hi-larious! :)

Creepy Crawlies

2009-07-15T10:05:00.003-06:00

What is with with the spiders lately? In the past few days, I've seen an extra abundance of eight legged creatures. Understand abundance means any more than zero! But 3 in one day, today already one - last few days at least one or two, in the house, in my office at work.... jesh!

A long time ago, an old friend of mine once told me that spiders are believed to be messengers in some Native American tribes. I wonder what message I am not getting when I wash them down the drain??? Or request David to "take care of it"??? Maybe next time I'll try to talk to the spider, giving it a chance to give me it's message & then tell it to get out of my space in a hurry!

There's a Spider in My Bathtub intresting link about house spiders - kinda like the ones I've been finding.

Email: A Soldier responds to MJ's Death

2009-07-14T15:15:00.001-06:00

I recieved this email today & real or not - it makes a valid point. And I want to again thank those that are/have and will continue to fight and stand for my freedom!! Thank you, I love you!

Email received from friend 7/14/2009

This is written by a young man serving his third tour of duty in Iraq.
You might find his take on Michael Jackson interesting.

I was just watching the news, and I caught part of a report on Michael
Jackson. As we all know, Jackson died the other day. He was an
Entertainerwho performed for decades. He made millions, he spent
Millions, and he did a lot of things that make him a villain to many
People. I understand that his death would affect a lot of people, and
I respect those who mourn his death, but that isn't the point.

Why is it that when ONE man dies, the whole of America loses their
Minds with grief. When a man dies whose only contribution to the
Country was to ENTERTAIN people, the Amercian people find the need to
Flock to a memorial and even Congress sees the need to
Hold a "moment of silence" for his passing?

Am I missing something here? ONE man dies, and all of a sudden he's a
Freaking martyr because he entertained us for a few decades? What
About all those SOLDIERS who have died to give us freedom? All those
Soldiers who, knowing that they would be asked to fight in a war,
Still raised their hands and swore to defend the Constitution and the
United States of America. Where is their moment of silence? Where
Arethe people flocking to their graves or memorials and mourning over
Them because they made the ultimate sacrifice? Why is it when a
Soldier dies, there are more people saying "good riddence," and "thank
God for IEDs?" When did this country become so calloused to the
Sacrificeof GOOD MEN and WOMEN, that they can arbitrarily blow off
Their deaths, and instead, throw themselves into mourning for a "Pop
Icon?"

I think that if they are going to hold a moment of silence IN CONGRESS
For Michael Jackson, they need to hold a moment of silence for every
Service member killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. They need to PUBLICLY
Recognize every life that has been lost so that the American people
Can live their callous little lives in the luxury and freedom that WE,
Those that are living and those that have gone on, have provided for
Them But, wait, that would take too much time, because there have

Been so many willing to make that sacrifice. After all, we will never
Make  millions of dollars. We will never star in movies, or write hit
Songs that the world will listen too. We only shed our blood, sweat
And tears so that people can enjoy what they have.

Sorry if I have offended, but I needed to say it.  Remember these five

words the next time you think of someone who is serving in the military;

"So that others may live..."

Isaac

IN GOD WE TRUST

ï»¿

Why Me???

2009-07-14T15:05:00.002-06:00

I had a Dream!

2009-06-25T09:54:00.003-06:00

Ok, so last night/this morning I had a pretty crazy dream - I don't remember everything & it just shows me that I should have written it down, when I woke up - to make sure my details were right.
What I do remember is spotted; we were setting up a camping trip with family and friends. Some friends and I rented a cabin, and were bouncing through it putting stuff away - until we found a polar bear hiding under my bed. The polar bear was cute and loveable, but we were scared becuase we didn't want the smell to attact other bears. Then when it ran out of the cabin from a whole in the drywall - we were really worried, knowing that his mommy would be looking for him. We were all very scared & paniced on what to do - then somehow we locked the brown mommy bear into another room of the cabin & when she was sleeping, we snuck past so we could get our stuff and get ready for church. There was some kinda of car accedient on the way to church & I was trying to call Dad (back at the cabin with the bear) not to open one of the doors, because we found out she was locked in a different room than before. By the time we got back from church, she was gone- but we couldn't figure out where she went, until we saw a trap door. I don't know when this part was but I also remember that David and I were setting up a camper in our camp spot, and then my family showed up and they were sad that we were there too - I was trying to surprise them, but they didn't want us around. :( I aldo remember kinda waking in and out of the dream, but I continued to be worried about the bear - there was just a stressful and insettling feeling about the whole thing.

So... here is a little bit about what DreamMoods.com says about the significance of specific items in my dream. DreamMoods is a dream interpretation site that I really enjoy.
Camping: To dream that you are camping, indicates a need for relaxation and a long-deserved break. You need to be more in touch with nature and go back to a more basic and simpler life. Alternatively, it refers to your social circle and support group. You are looking for a sense of belonging, but at the same time be self-sufficient and independent.

Cabin: To see or dream that you are in a wood cabin, indicates that you will succeed via your own means. It suggests that you are self-reliant and independent, yet still remain humble. You prefer the simpler things in life.

Bear: To see a bear in your dream, symbolizes independence, the cycle of life, death and renewal. It may signal of period of introspection and thinking. The dream may also be a pun on "bare". Perhaps you need to bare your soul and let everything out into the open. To dream that you are being pursued or attacked by a bear, denotes aggression, overwhelming obstacles and competition. You may find yourself in a threatening situation. To see a polar bear in your dream, signifies a reawakening.

Locked Doors: To dream that the doors are closed or locked, signify opportunities that are denied and not available to you or that you have missed out on. Something or someone is blocking your progress. It also symbolizes the ending of a phase or project. In particular, if you are outside the locked door, then it suggests that you are having some anti-social tendencies. If you are inside the locked door, then it represents harsh lessons that need to be learned.
To dream that you are locking doors, suggests that you are closing yourself off from others. You are hesitant in letting others in and revealing your feelings. It is indicative of some fear and low self-worth. If someone slams the door in your face, indicates that you are feeling shut out or some activity or that you are being ignored.

Car Accident: To dream of a car accident, symbolizes your emotional state. You may be harboring deep anxieties and fears. Are you "driving" yourself too hard? This dream may tell you to slow down before you hit disaster. You need to rethink or re-plan your course of actions and set yourself on a better path.

Escape: To dream that you escape from jail or some place of confinement, signifies your need to escape from a restrictive situation or attitude. Alternatively, it suggests that you are refusing to face your problems. You are avoiding the situation, instead of confronting them.
To dream that you escape from injury, from an animal, or from any situation, signifies your good health and prosperity. You will experience a favorable turn of events.

Camper: To dream that you are living in a camper, indicates that you need to move on with regards to some aspect of your life. You may be dwelling on a situation and it is time to move forward. Alternatively, you may be expressing your desire to be more independent and self-sufficient.

Surprise: To dream that you are pleasantly surprised, indicates that you are opened in acknowledging and confronting your unconscious feelings. To dream that you are unpleasantly surprised, suggests fear of the unexpected and unknown. You do not want to face your feelings.

I can agree with the camping part. I could use a "real" break. :)
I like the cabin part. :) I was confused in my dream - because it was an old wood cabin, but it had the one drywalled wall that the polar bear's hole was in, kinda a flapped corner. - "To dream that you demolish or break down a wall, indicates that you are breaking through obstacles and overcoming your limitations. It also means that you desire some freedom and independence. If you see a wall crumble, then it suggests that you have easily risen above your problems and overcame your barriers." Again I didn't break the wall - but it was really messed up.
How wild is it that it specificly lists a polar bear? reawakening. Wow! And there was the mommy bear who was agressive, but seemed to be able to sneek around.
Ok, so I was closing and locking the bear out, meaning: ? I'm not sharing my feelings about obstacals or competition. ???
We weren't in the car accident, I just know that it was something slowing us down from getting to where we were going - knowledge that was important, shutting down lanes of traffic, but I didn't ever see the actual accident (I don't think?)
I didn't escape - the bear did?
We were setting up a very specific camper - felt kinda like the tent in Harry Potter - was normal on the outside, but much larger and spacious on the inside, almost a full house.
I wasn't the one being surprised, but I was trying to surprise my family - they were unplesently surprised. - maybe I am afraid of the unexpected from my family or what they think. ???

Thoughts? Post here or email me. :)

David Update

2009-06-18T15:34:00.000-06:00

Hi Everyone,

As most of you know, David has been sick for a couple of days (since Saturda) with a high fever & mild body aches. Unfortunaltely, it's not the flu... His high fever comes back after Tylenol and Advil ware off, and yes we have been to the doctor, more than once in fact!

We just got back from the doc again today, and hopefully with more blood tests - they'll be able to figure out what's going on. We are both sick of this ridiculous mystery illness, and have new found respect for our family and friends that have had to go through much worse than our own 5 days of sickness. We again went to the doctor this morning & after haning out there a few hours.... they are still are not sure what's going on. We are jumping through all the hoops, so I am sure we'll find out something soon. Tomorrow we go back in, this time to an infecious desease specialitst. David is pretty freaked out about that, so all your thoughts and many prayers - will be much appreciated, we are hoping that they come up with something "normal" and nothing too serious or long term. It could possibly be Mono or even West Nile- but both normally have many other symptoms as well, so that's why they aren't sure until the blood tests come back.

Today we had to put in a short term disapility claim since he has missed the full week of work, and has been written a note for the rest of the week. His bosses have been very understanding & wishing him well. I've also missed a few days of work, in order to take him to his appointments & take care of him once we are home. Today I went if for a short time & am hoping that they are just as understanding as UPS has been with David.

Anyhow, figured a written update is easiest, instead of calling everyone seperatly. :) Thanks again for all your prayers! please keep them coming! :)

Starting Points by Luci Swindoll

2009-06-11T10:34:00.002-06:00

Starting Points by Luci Swindoll

Do you travel? I do! A lot! And there are certain things I have to take on every trip. Ive learned first to work on the knownscosmetics, underwear, medications, pajamas, and night-light (I never travel without a night-light). Then I move to clothes, shoes, and accessories, depending on the season, engagement, and destination. It finally comes down to a science. Starting with what I know (in any dilemma) is helpful and will ultimately get the job done.

Starting points of any endeavor can be debilitating. We dont want to start something because it seems too hard, too involved, and too much work. Whether its writing a term paper, building a house, saving money, losing weight, or packing for a trip, we dont know where to beginso we dont.

Lifes highway is littered with people who had good intentions but never punched the start button. I know a few people like this, and their questions are always the same: How did you do that? How do you always finish projects? How did you plan that far-fetched vacation to that out-of-the-way spot? The answer to each of these is the samestart. Nobody has the key to the outcome, but we all have the key to possibility. Open the door and walk through it.

Excerpted from Life! Celebrate It copyright ©2006 Luci Swindoll. Published by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used with permission. All Rights Reserved.

Annoyed, at myself

2009-06-08T12:11:00.003-06:00

Why am I my own worst emeny?
Why do I dream of things I can not possess?
What attacks are these?

These thoughts are oppressing, they are silented by my voice.
These words that won't be uttered, yet grow louder than they seem.
It's not that they aren't truth, but more that they are not welcomed.
Not right among us, not ready for them to be loose.

Searching out my S.T.O.R.Y

2009-06-03T09:39:00.002-06:00

So reading last night sparked some thoughts - I was reading Cure for the Common Life by Max Lucado. I really love how his writtings can speak to me, I want to someday be a writer like that.
Him and Beth Moore! Pow! Their words can drop me to the floor. :) Anyhow! Last night, we were looking at how each of us are created completely unquie and that we each have a S.T.O.R.Y to figure out. I only got as far as STO - :) Strengths, Topic & Optimal Situations.

Humm.... quite hard to think of huh!? :) (will continue to update later)

Actual Rule or more just guidelines ???

2009-05-29T13:29:00.007-06:00

I am finding it more and more important to know and search out where exactly are my life rules, and where do they come from? - What I mean is character, integrity... How to act? what to say? What NOT to say!?! You know simple things that our parents used to teach us - play nice, share, don't lie.... now seem to be obsolete in the adult world and I just can't figure out why!

My interest has peaked recently as I see more and more people in leadership, that should know better, continue to slip up on these simple little rules of childhood. However, I am seeing that maybe since they never seem to have a guilty conscious about things, they just simply don't have any rules to live by - they are more just guidelines! as we are told in the popular movie "Pirates of the Caribbean" by Captain Barbosa.

The definition of a rule per Merriam-Webster is as follows :

Rule (noun) 1 a: a prescribed guide for conduct or action b: the laws or regulations prescribed by the founder of a religious order for observance by its members c: an accepted procedure, custom, or habit d (1): a usually written order or direction made by a court regulating court practice or the action of parties (2): a legal precept or doctrine e: a regulation or bylaw governing procedure or controlling conduct

Guideline (noun) : a line by which one is guided: as a: a cord or rope to aid a passer over a difficult point or to permit retracing a course b: an indication or outline of policy or conduct

As you can see the words and definition language is very different from each other. So as I have been continually seeing such double standards and two faced talking - I just don't get it! And now, even our President is doing it . Who does this surprise? Not me unfortunately, not me.

Conviction- If this isn't I don't know what is.

2009-05-08T15:08:00.001-06:00

1 John 1:5 - 10
Living in the Light
5 This is the message we heard from Jesus[c] and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. 6 So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. 7 But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.
8 If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. 9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.

Thoughtful Words

2009-03-12T10:22:00.000-06:00

Be who you are

and say what you feel,

because those who mind don't matter

and those who matter don't mind.

- Dr. Seuss

I agree

2009-03-06T11:53:00.002-07:00

I never knew an office supply site would have such good articles! :)
http://morsescode.quill.com/blogs/penpal/archive/2009/03/01/admin-s-assistant-mar-09.aspx Normally all things we all think we know, but this is so important & it was great to have a reminder to smile & look nice. Because it does kinda make you nice. :)

http://morsescode.quill.com/blogs/officeliving/archive/2009/02/01/the-welcome-mat-feb-9.aspx I think I am going to have a goal of cutting flowers each week from my garden this year. My roses were amazing & I hardly trimed them, I need to enjoy them more! :)

Hope one or both are helpful for you.

Speak up, why don't cha!

2009-01-08T14:05:00.003-07:00

I have had a head cold the last four/five days. I have been doped up on meds & sleeping in my free time. I hate head colds. I get frustrated that things just don't make sense to me, or that I completely forget what I was working on or thinking about just a minute before. Ok, so I do that one anyhow, but you can understand it gets much worse with a stuffed head.

Anyhow, today couldn't be more clear. As time is slowly passing at work today, I was thinking about what I want to accomplish this year. Making a few health & business goals, I realized that I have been talking, planning all these same goals for about two years now. And still in the same place so far, nothing has happened. So trying to re-focus and continuing to clean my desk off, I read a one page devotional - it has my favorite Psalm in it - Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God. The devotional talks about being still enough to hear God, to be present with him & willing to listen. - Yeah, cool. Sounds good, I mark the page, and put it away.

I pickup my Mary Kay inspirational desk calendar - flip to Jan 8 - and read today's page designated to Dreams.

God would not give us a dream without the ability to achieve it. Winning begins when you throw away your pride and "go for broke." When you aim at something that's bigger than you're sure you could ever achieve, and then you practice believing and seeing yourself achieve that goal. Act as if you have already achieved it. In other words, "fake it 'til you make it."

Huh? Ok! Now, you may not think that these words are as powerful by themselves, and that's fine neither did I - they were powerful, because minutes ago, I had just wrote an email - talking about that I haven't "went all in" - that I haven't really tried. - "going for broke." Wow, that really hit me, I have heard it. I know what he's trying to show me. I haven't, but I CAN!

I have so many things that I try to shoot for, so many goals within a year, but I think I am really going to try and focus on just two or three really big ones this year! and I can do it!

God is behind me, he is inspiring me and encouraging me. Wow, how lucky I am! How great this year is going to be! when I start listening to him and letting him guide my pace and my steps!

It should be a DOGs life!

2009-01-08T13:14:00.002-07:00

Emailed from my cousin Sue

A Dog's Purpose (from a 6-year-old) Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle. I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home. As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience. The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker 's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ''I know why.'' Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live. He said,''People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?'' The Six-year-old continued,''Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.''

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.
Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.
ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

2009 Tips Taken

2009-01-08T10:38:00.003-07:00

These tips are from Zen Habits, a great blog that I try to read whenever I can. Here are his tips & my responses as follows:

Tip 1) Don’t make resolutions, create a new habit. It lasts longer. Try the New Year’s Challenge.
Response 1) My new personal habit is health. I will plan and choose what I put into by body; I will move joyously to have a better and thinner life.

Tip 2) Start your New Year with a clear desk. Clear everything off the top of the desk but the essential tools.
Response 2) Ok, ok - still need to do.

Tip 3) Set one major goal for this year. Focus yourself completely into making it happen. Make it a mantra.
Response 3) I will plan and choose what I do for my body.

Tip 4) Take action TODAY to make your One Goal happen. Even a small action. Tomorrow: repeat.
Response 4) one small action? I will not eat out today and I will plan lunch and dinner.

Tip 5) Schedule time for yourself, right now. Every day if possible, even if it’s just 10 mins.
Response 5) Ok, I will plan to blog for myself everyday, first thing in the morning, when I get into the office.

Tip 6) Practice effective focus. Spend 30 minutes just focusing on one task. Clear distractions. It gets easier.
Response 6) Yes, I agree this is a great thing to do. I will work with blocks of time & 6 most tasks.

Tip 7) Realize that you don’t need to respond to email right away-no one expects you to. It can wait! Checking email just twice a day is possible if you let go of the need to respond immediately.
Response 7) Yes, again I agree - but I also feel loaded down, when I don't get them answered & then they get lost. I will have to get better at this & plan time to email and return calls in my day.

I will have 4 different goals this year, one for each quarter. This first quarter I am focusing on health & fitness. And I have also joined the New Year's Challenge & refocused on sparkpeople.com - along with following & listening to Julia Havey's Life Changer Program, this is the year that my life and body will recreate it's self. This will be well worth the pain.

Annoyed and Amazed

2008-11-19T14:08:00.002-07:00

I am amazed today, the about of work that really does go through my office. Even though many times it feels like much doesn't get done- there is still a lot getting done. Yeah, I have my someday pile that continues to grow, but the essentials rarely get overlooked.

I am annoyed today, that people have to speak up about a few spelling errors on one week's bulletin- really? it's that big a deal? Come on people, this is my job- don't tell me that you don't ever spell something wrong at your job?! Don't get me wrong, I am all for accuracy and shooint for correct grammer, but if you think! for a moment that I have time to let you come in and proofread for me during the week- you are out of your mind, I never know when it is done! I never know when it's completed with everyone else's input, before I can add my own. Unless that is, you expect me to continue to put more and more hours into this job, that you are probably going to cut hours to next year!

Rant and Rave Complete, now back to work.

ps- if you belong (go regularly) to a church- PLEDGE! someone's job could count on it!

I am a FLYbaby!

2008-11-14T14:30:00.000-07:00

Hi there,
I am writing to and forwarding the letter below for different reasons to 2 different kinds of people. The "Born Organized" and the "not! so Born Organized" - and I bet you know which you are. :)

If you are "Born Organized", maybe the below letter will help you relate to us in the other group. I know that it really helped me, understand and be able to explain myself... cuz if you didn't already know- I am so the "not! so Born Organized" - in mind, body and soul! :)
If fact if you are a "Born Organized" freak :) - then this intro letter is for you from me: (and if you don't feel like it matters of how you relate to me emotionally or personally- I am sure that you have someone else close to you that fits this "not! so Born Organized" idea as well, so still read it.)

I know you guys have a hard time keeping up with me - thought, emotions, tasks.... I have a hard time keeping up with myself as well; this letter below might help. This is from a website that I have known about for a long time, but finally joined this week http://www.flylady.com/. I can't even explain how weird and good it is to know that there are other people like me that understand my craziness! :) This letter almost brought me to tears & I wanted to share it with you, so that you can maybe get a glimpse of what really is going on in my brain most of the time. This website is mostly related to house cleaning, but it really starts to make you focus on each part of your day, instead of flitting around- which is always needed for me. :) The letter is kinda long, but please take the time to read it. It's from the Flylady to me because I recently joined the website- but I would like your feedback on it & what you think about it- does it fit me?

Jenn

If you are like me, the "not! so Born Organized" -
I loving forward the below letter to you. I hooope that it will touch you and encourage you, as much as it has me. I would also encourage you to check out & join http://www.flylady.net/ website. Even if you have housecleaning down, or it doesn't apply to you because you a) don't clean or b) don't have to (which in either case- you suck!) :) you may still find some really good information on it.

And however, silly it may be- this one website - in the last four or five days, has really let me go of some of my radical perfectionism that normally stifles most of my life and wished actions. I know that it is a process of baby steps- which like she explains, is really really difficult for me, but I know that it will be worth the results & worth a clean house and clean mind.

Let me know what you think?
In love,
Jennifer Eberhard

Flylady Butterflies Beginnings

2008-11-14T14:28:00.002-07:00

I received this letter by email from flylady.net & all copyrights remain with them.

My Dear New FlyBaby,

My heart goes out to you! I know how you have been put down because of your imagination, creativity and sidetrackedness. We don’t fit the mold our family wants us to fit. God knows how hard we have tried to be what they wanted us to be. Everybody just wants to be loved. The problem is they don’t know how to love us and that is not their fault. Our imagination and creativity is our gift. That gift, most of the time gets us sidetracked and at that point we are criticized for not finishing what we started. We flit from flower to flower making the world a beautiful place like the butterflies we watch in the yard.

Here is the most exciting part of our imagination and creativity; we are very intelligent. So much so that it might even scare our family. We were not “Born Organized” but we can learn how to be organized. But this organization cannot be stuffed down our throats. As children we were told to go clean our rooms. Our brains are so busy with creating that we don’t know how to clean a room. Now here is the funny part. A “Born Organized” person does not know how to teach us to do this either. They don’t understand themselves how it is done because in the first place they have never allowed anything to get that messy. The other part of it is that they just do and don’t think about it. I have watched “Born Organized” People and they are constantly puttering around the house doing things. They flit around with a purpose to put things back into the order they have set up. We flit because we don’t know where to start and we are trying to do too many things at one time.

So how do we use our imagination and creativity to help us learn how to flit with a purpose! This is a big question that I am going to answer for you in due time. First I want to help you be able to hear what I am saying.

Let me start by saying, “I am not your mother demanding that you go clean your room!” Now here is the tough part. If you have heard your mother’s voice when you have read my messages then we are going to work hard to remove that voice from your head. You are an adult and this is your home. I am not your mother, I am your dear friend that you have asked to help you. I am not critical of the way you keep your home, because I am just like you. I have lived in clutter and CHAOS too and I understand how the clutter becomes a cocoon to isolate you from your imagination and creativity.

We have been made to feel guilty because of our gift of imagination. Well I am here to tell you that our imagination if a powerful tool to help us out of our cocoon. If we can think it; we can do it. We can take our idea and turn it into whatever it is that we choose. We just need someone to teach us how to make this happen without the world falling apart around us.

Our homes are stifling our imagination. Our little creative minds have been stuffed into this cocoon because of the guilt that has been put on our little heads. We are blessed to have an imagination. We fight hard to keep from being stuffed into that cocoon. This is why we rebel against habits and routines. They look too much like the “Born Organized” people in our lives. They are a tool that helps us to emerge from our cocoon of guilt and suffocation to find our true joy in living.

Let me tell you a little story. My grandmother hated the fall when the leaves would cover the ground. All these leaves meant to her was work. For me they were fun. I loved to rake them into a pile and jump into them. I hated burning them. I disliked the smoke and soot because the fire was destroying my playground. I would sit and watch the fire and be so sad. My grandmother would fuss because I was not helping. I would try to come up with excuses to not burn them. All I would hear was that I was just lazy! That was not it at all. I guess I was an environmental scientist at heart because at eight years old I was trying to figure out what that black stuff was that ruined my leaves. It could not be good for my lungs or the sky. All I can say is I have never burned or raked a leaf as an adult! I love to see a path covered in leaves. It is the cycle of life; the breaking down and renewing of the old leaves to give nutrients to the soil to perpetuate life.

I am tired of my babies being put down for their imagination. I want your imagination to be set free from its cocoon and FLY; to soar high without fear of being knocked down. It is my desire to teach you how to take the babysteps to flit from flower to flower making this world a better place. Without our imagination and creativity this world would be a pretty dull place to live. After wiping a few tears I am now laughing out loud. We are so blessed! We can learn to be organized but a “Born Organized” person cannot learn to be imaginative or creative! Let me tell you a little secret. Our imagination is what makes the world go round! Without us there would not be any ideas. Our limitations are that we get bored with details because we want to go on to the next thing.

The reason this happens is because we hyper focus and ruin the creative process. I don’t want you to do this with FlyLady. You have to take babysteps and enjoy the process. Let go of the perfectionism that has been stuffed down your throats and have some fun. The one thing your momma did say that is true is that once you get the homework done you can go out and play! Here is the cute part about that statement. We can turn this around to mean what we want it to. We no longer have to hyper focus with our nose to the grindstone to get something done. We can make it fun while we are doing it. This is why we love a timer. It tells us when to start and then when it is time to stop. We have permission to stop and go on to something else. If you will; flitting with a purpose. You will get back to what you were doing but now you are going to take your creativity to another flower. All the while using your timer to help keep you focused on the thing you are doing now. You can do anything for 15 minutes! Then you get to stop!

Did you ever feel as if your head was about to explode with ideas? The ideas were coming so fast that you could not even see them in your mind’s eye. We have to practice harnessing these ideas. This is why we have a hard time sleeping at night. Our minds are racing. If we can practice staying focused for just 15 minutes at a time. This will help us to slow down our minds so that we can think things through the babystep process. Everything has a beginning, a middle and an end. We want to jump right to the end. We see something totally finished but we don’t know how it got there in our mind’s eye. When we slow down our brains we can actually figure this out for ourselves. Even if we have to go backwards to figure it out; this is called retracing our steps. When your mind is racing this is difficult to do. We have so many pictures and words coming into our consciousness that we can’t hear what we need to do first. I want you to practice something for me.

Set your timer for five minutes.
Sit down in a comfortable chair. Do not lay down because I don’t want you to go to sleep.
Now I want you to close your eyes after you finish reading this little imaginary journey we are going to take.

I want you to pretend that you are a security guard watching a TV screen. This screen is on the inside of your forehead. You are looking at a blank screen. As the pictures in your mind pop up onto that screen I want you to delete them. Just say delete. As you sit there you will find that this is difficult to do but we are not looking for perfection. We just want to slow the pictures down so you can see the details instead of a blur. Eventually you will be able to see everything you need to see. As a result of just practicing this you will find that your breathing will become slower and deeper. You may even become more relaxed too.

We have never known what it is we have wanted in life because we have so many things running through our heads at once. We can focus and be very creative with what we it is that we are to do!

I love you like I love myself. I know you like I know me! I don’t want you to be hurt another day! I want for you what I have found; PEACE. This peace came from finding out who I am and loving every bit of me because I am worthy and I can accomplish whatever I can think about. No one ever gave us the instruction manual to explain the tools we were born with. Let’s take our tools/talents and use them to show the world that we can FLY. It all starts with finally loving yourself enough to take babysteps to release the negativity and perfectionism!

We can flit from flower to flower like the beautiful butterfly! We have the butterfly power within each of us. We can spread our wings and make our corner of the world just a little bit brighter with our colorful arms to hug us!

Are you ready to come out of your Cocoon and FLY?

FlyLady

Very Funny Article

2008-11-13T20:33:00.002-07:00

Click on this title to jump to a news article.

Glad my place of employement hasn't been stolen!

Cleaning Baby Steps

2008-11-12T13:05:00.002-07:00

Lately, baby steps are everywhere!

David and I just completed a 90day program about Financial Peace from Dave Ramsey. It was great, we are working though his baby steps and we are on Baby Step 2 - Debt Snowball. We have made the goal of paying off our rather ridiculous debt by the end of 2009; 2010 will start in a way that we have never been before- debt free & living in finaical freedom.

I have also recently pickup a book/wookbook that I starting last year, but wasn't able to get serious about. Now, I am serious & I am following Julia Havey's Life Changer Program. I am only 5 day in, but it made me realize how much thought process has to do with eating, goals, weight loss and life changes. I really need to make some personal talk changes, in order to develop into the person that I know I can be.

And now in a random Google of baby steps- Fly Lady also has baby steps- so I am thinking, why not!? :) I like Fly Lady and I am beginning to like baby steps- small daily steps... makes sense this would be a good way to clean my house as well as my checkbook and my body.

Just a waste

2008-11-11T21:56:00.003-07:00

Wasted night again. I can't seem to get in a workable & productive routine, still - I have worked so hard, and yet still the same place. I seem to be able to get to a starting point, but not much beyond that. I am driven and thoughtful. I know that I can do what I set out to. It is about small daily steps, small daily actions.

Today, I shared a devotion at our staff meeting about 5% more. What would even 5% more than I am doing now? 5% more would make a difference- that's what! :) Tomorrow, I have a full day to do that 5% more. A new chance to do and be everything that I want. Tonight, I will go to bed, so that I can rest and be prepared for all this everything.

I am Famous!!

2008-10-24T09:43:00.002-06:00

By the way... I am famous!! along with Bob & Heather & David.

Fun times !! http://kygo.com/photos/index.cfm?ShowID=concerts&PhotoID=9300

EDITED: and again!! that's us at the show last night, David is wearing blue and I am in red! :)

http://kygo.com/photos/index.cfm?ShowID=concerts&PhotoID=9279
http://kygo.com/photos/index.cfm?ShowID=concerts&PhotoID=9321

REstart

2008-10-24T09:22:00.003-06:00

I feel like the week needs a REstart. I call a REdo! REtry, REtry- as long as it's not a REplay!

And yet I am in desperate need of the weekend. So, I guess today (Friday) will just have to do as my REstart and my weekend doorway. I have my focus plan & am ready to get some stuff done!

And yet I know lingering back deep in my mind are last nights toughts and last nights music...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sa7ot4R_-Qo

How is that fair?
I am trying to be focused and work through the day, yet it feels like I am under drip tourture. And yet no one would know otherwise.

Am I preparing my wins?

2008-10-23T11:12:00.001-06:00

"Most people have the will to win, few have the will to PREPARE to win."Bobby Knight

I just had to jot this down before I forgot it- my mind is racing, I have so much to say about this quote, but not the time to get it down. Maybe later.

Coffee Changes Everything

2008-10-22T16:12:00.002-06:00

Hi Friends,

Here is a special story I found on email. Guess, I need to start drinking more coffee!

A CUP OF COFFEE?
You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again. A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked. "What's the point, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. " When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another lever? How do you handle Adversity?ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?

Proud to be in Mary Kay

2008-10-22T11:08:00.002-06:00

I am proud to be working with Mary Kay- it's it such an amazing company! And it is a great income adder when things get tight. :)

Check this out! an these links that I got in an email today...

Top director, Holly Ennis, was on TV! You will have to watch the commercial 1st! Pass this on to all your customers and friends! We are the best business to work and own in any economic times! Betsy

Here is one of the TV NEWS REPORTS with Holly featured in it!!!!
Channel 5 Interview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgWvr-YZBmA&fmt=18
Channel 33 Interviewhttp://www.the33tv.com/pages/video/?autoStart=true&topVideoCatNo=default&clipId=3039259

Yankee Candles! - Support my little sister

2008-10-21T20:46:00.005-06:00

Let me know if you are interested in supporting Alyssa in her school's fund raiser.

Jennifer Eberhard

From: ODIA@MSN.COM
Subject: Fw: Yankee Candles!
Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2008 18:16:04 -0600

Hi Everyone! Our next fundraiser is one the way and this is a good one! Please look at the brochure and let me know if you would like to order! If Possible, we need the money by the 31st. Thanks a lot everybody!

http://www.yankeefundrasing.com - click on the Fall Catalog.
All checks should be made out to FACE.

Love,
Alyssa

Job Offer?

2008-10-20T14:12:00.002-06:00

Today, I took a career/personality test online. I was rather happy with the results, here it what it says about my strenghts in leadership.
So how about that job? Wouldn't you want to work with me?

Jennifer's Strengths in Leadership:

INFLUENCING

You are the "go to" person when a leader is needed. Others see your strengths and know that you possess wonderful managerial insight. Many people are willing to follow you because of your charisma and enthusiasm. While sometimes seeming a bit aggressive, your fairness and people skills soon have others remembering you want the best for all involved.

DIRECTING

You probably put people ahead of tasks; but when you start falling behind, you get moving and take care of what is at hand. You may wait till the last minute, but you usually pick up the pace and meet the deadlines that are necessary for success.

PROCESSING

You can take an idea or a project and follow through from start to finish. While you prefer changing roles and responsibilities, you will stick to a routine that is necessary to fulfill a need.

DETAILING

You tend to follow through on specific details that have been relayed to you as important. In new areas you may not see the importance of certain portions of the work that require more precision and review. Try using new strategies such as note taking, repetition of the goal, and asking for clarity.

CREATING

You feel great about the balance you have. You are often able to come up with some great new ideas; but, more than that, you find the time to make them a reality. Others are often impressed with your unique ideas and your ability to find approaches that solve even difficult problems.

PERSISTING

You are a strong, steady worker who wants to do quality work. Sometimes you may begin to look at other alternatives to completing a project when the going starts getting rough. Remember not to quit nor lose focus on what you have started.

RELATING

You are a naturally friendly and caring individual who is very approachable. Others feel very comfortable coming to you and you make friends very easily. You are frequently called on when there is a need to network with others to get a project done.

Monday Starts

2008-10-13T10:12:00.002-06:00

Planning is first. I have learned (the hard way) that things go smoother and slower if I have more planned out. Or maybe it is if I have to improvise, I know what I am up against. If you are ever feeling burnt out and ready to give up- wheather it is on a specific project, a job or even laundry. Try letting Monday be the start to your week. Take your Monday as your planning day, set up your week, think ahead, save yourself the pain. Then when you have your week planned, you will be see what is imperitive that it gets done this week, start on that! It's Monday, how great will it feel to already have something big and important scratched off as "DONE!"?

There are many books that push that minutes planning can save you hours working. I am up for that! Or course depending on your personal schedule, you can make any day your planning day- and Sunday evenings also work great. However, if I took Sunday night, I found myself sitting in my office thinking way too long and not getting much done, taking away from my family time & not being able to think clearly of what was coming up that week. So, I am taking my Monday and planning.

How to start your plan: First you must write stuff down, get a planner and a pen - or whatever tools work for you. And I would do a mind dump first, this means writting everything down of your TO DOs that you can think of. Personally, I like seperating that down into categories right away. I used a different piece of paper or seperate notepads, for this. I would then go through and highlight either your MUST dos for the week- and be honest MUST dos, not should would like to dos. :)Then do one of these MUSTs- the one that will make the most impact on your week.

Wow, you already have something done this week, it is Monday & you have everything all planned out for the rest of the week. Doesn't that feel great!

First Name ...

2008-10-09T09:35:00.002-06:00

J- People Adore you ( I wish I felt this today )
E- You love to kiss ( Yes, I do love to kiss.)
N- Easy to fall in love with ( again, not really feeling this one)
N- Easy to fall in love with ( still not feeling this)
I- People love you ( I sure hope so.)
F- Easy to fall in love with ( feeling kind of repeatitive now)
E- You love to kiss ( ya ya, whatever)
R- You Are Great in bed ( really? cuz you wouldn't know lately!)

Sorry, guess it's obvious that I'm not feeling peppy today.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A: Best Gf/Bf any one could have
B: You love a certain someone
C: People cant help but check u out
D: You are really lovable
E: You love to kiss
F: Easy to fall in love with
G: You never let people tell you what to do
H: You have a very good personality and good looks
I : People love you
J : People Adore you
K : You're wild and crazy
L: awsome kisser
M: Beautiful
N : Easy to fall in love with
O : Best kisser ever
P : You are popular with all types of people
Q : You are a hypocrite
R: You Are Great in bed
S: Loud and likes to have fun
T: You are loyal to the ones you love
U: You really like to chill
V : You are not judgmental
W: You are popular
X: You never let people tell you what to do
Y: Worth waiting for
Z: People love you

Shopping for Life

2008-10-09T09:28:00.000-06:00

As I was walking Down life's highway
Many years ago

I came upon a Sign that read
Heavens Grocery Store.

When I got a Little closer
The doors swung Open wide

And when I came To myself
I was standing Inside.

I saw a host of Angels.
They were Standing everywhere

One handed me a Basket
And said 'My Child shop with care.'

Everything a Human needed
Was in that Grocery store

And what you Could n ot car ry
You could come Back for more

First I got some Patience.
Love was in that Same row.

Further down was Understanding,
You need that Everywhere you go.

I got a box or Two of Wisdom
And Faith a bag Or two.

And Charity of Course
I would need some Of that too.

I couldn't miss The Holy Ghost
It wa s all over The place.

And then some Strength And Courage to
Help me run this race.

My basket was Getting full
But I remembered I needed Grace,

And then I chose Salvation for
Salvation was for Free

I tried to get Enough of that
to do For you and me.

Then I started to The counter
To pay my grocery Bill,

For I thought I Had everything
To do the Masters Will.

As I went up the Aisle
I saw Prayer and Put that in,

For I knew when I Stepped outside
I would run into Sin.

Peace and Joy Were plentiful,
The last things On the shelf.

Song and Praise Were hanging near
So I just helped Myself.

Then I said to The angel
'Now h ow much do I owe?'

He smiled and Said
'Just take them Everywhere you go.'

Again I asked 'Really now,
How much do I Owe?'

'My child' he Said, 'God paid your bill
A long long time Ago.'

Shared with me through email

How well do you know your spouse?

2008-10-03T10:31:00.002-06:00

I got this from a bulletin on Myspace. :)

1. They are watching TV... What are they watching?
South Park or Movie Channels

2. You're out to eat. What kind of dressing do they get on their salad?
Ranch!! and only Ranch!

3. What's one food this person doesn't like?
Tomoatoes

4. You go out to the bar. He/she orders......
Bud Light

5. Where did he/she go to high school?
BHS

6.What size shoe do they wear?
I believe his boots are 10 EE

7. If this person were to collect anything, it would be...
ANYTHING John Deere Green

8. What is their favorite type of sandwich?
Italian Meatball or just a bunch of deli meat like Clubs

9. This person could eat ______ everyday.
Punk Cookies

10. Favorite cereal?
Muesil

11. This person wouldn't be caught dead wearing?
a dress- oh wait, he already has done that...... ummm, a tong!

12. Favorite sports team?
none, whoever I am rooting for...

13. Who will he/she vote for?
that is his decision

14. What is their sign?
stupid Virgo

15. What is something you do that he/she wishes you didn't?
smoke

16. How many states has this person lived in?
One

17. What is his/her heritage?
German

18. You bake them a cake for their birthday. What kind?
Cherry chip Cake , but really Boston Cream Pie Yes, Honey, I still owe you one!

19. Did he/she play sports in high school?
Yes, Baseball

20. This person could spend hours...
hanging out with friends on our patio or garage
watching stupid movies until 2am
ranching at the farm

21. He wants a new...
truck, dog, work cloths, carpet, kitchen.... wife?

22. The CD I would probably find in their vehicle is...
George Strait

23. What can you do that will guarantee a laugh from him/her?
Flash him

24. Does he/she get along well with their family?
Sure

25. If money wasn't an option, I would buy him/her...
A full secion of land!! to have his ranch on

I feel like I know him pretty well....

Praise God!!!

2008-10-03T10:10:00.000-06:00

I just want to throw up a quick praise and thanksgiving comment- David's cousin Joe has had his last ped scan this week & it was clear!!!!!

The cancer is gone! Wha-ho!

This is what Joe said about it in his care blog:

I am back finally

Posted 2 days ago
I got the results of my PET scan today and my doctor was out of the office, but the nurse was able to read me the results. The report shows that there is something on the left hip, but they think it is from the radiation. All other spots are gone and show no metabolic activity. I don't have cancer anymore. I really don't know what else to say. I'll write again after I see the doctor and set a date for the party. Thanks for hangin in with me and I hope this is it.

CANCER SUCKS,

Joe

Talk to me about it!

2008-10-02T12:19:00.007-06:00

See, it hasn't been a new idea. I haven't been nuts for only a minute... check back on this blog I wrote in March!

http://jeberhard.blogspot.com/2008/03/is-love-more-than-choice.html

It is just me to challenge, analyze and think about things, and yes- question love, mine- yours-ours- freaking chill out! I can't help it, it is just who I am. A thinker not a doer. I don't think about the option that my whole future might be falling down in pieces, I think of - huh, is this the way that it is supposed to be? Is this the best situation that makes sense? What would have changed, if I did would have done this or would have said that!? You are the one that makes me think that my future is falling down in chunks! You are the one that shuts me down, to make me what to cry. That's right, it is all about you, I know- no surpize.

It's a natural thing, I am not going crazy- I have been this way, since you've known me.
I just don't get why you would be so attentive now? Why would you ask me those things! Why now, I have enough going on in my head. I don't have time to be sad about you.